As seen in The New Yorker!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Scott McClanahan Author Chat
- Scott McClanahanI'm here. I have to go poop though. May be like a 15 minute poop.
Allison PuderbaughYou should go poop. I'm not even at the bar yet. Finishing up Taco Tuesday- Allison PuderbaughHow's the poop?How's the poop?
Scott McClanahanGood.I'm here now.- Allison PuderbaughGlad to hear you've emptied your vowelsBowels
- Scott McClanahanYou're punny
- Allison PuderbaughLee Brown stories?
- Scott McClanahanI don't even like that guyNext topicAlso, Amy Hempel is a bad writer.
- Allison PuderbaughHow you define the Appalachian Minstrel show tradition of lit?
- Scott McClanahanMinstrel shows are actually art. There's a great book by Nick Tosches about it. Only white people get uncomfortable about minstrel shows.My book is as guilty as the ones I mentioned
- Allison PuderbaughThe logistics of the chat are bogging us down
- Scott McClanahanHeeIs this a multi cultural book club?Oh wait. It's Kansas
- Allison Puderbaughbut neither the kansas minstrel show variety, nor college town "trustafarians" clarifies one member
- Scott McClanahanTruthWe have John Brown in common
- Allison PuderbaughHey we are all white in our own wayIndeed! Have you read Battle of Blair Mountain?
- Scott McClanahanI'm 30 minutes away from it--If you were to transport me to the early part of the 20th centuryPeople who talk about Blair are usually hippies who still listen to Rusted Root and don't shave their arm pits"Send me on my way...""...on my way"
- Allison Puderbaughcarrying conversation over here so more can see
- Scott McClanahansweet
- Allison Puderbaughmore Kansas minstrel show assumptions
- Scott McClanahanHere is a joke--Do you know what PBR book club members use for birth control?
- Allison PuderbaughSo there is a contigent that decided that following Sam Pink is a hard thing to do...because it was like you were being weird for the sake of being weird
- Scott McClanahanFirst my joke and then our conversationSay what?
- Allison Puderbaugh*starts drumroll, rimshot* WHAT?
- Scott McClanahanTheir personalities.Okay on to the questionI was born weird
- Allison PuderbaughBut we have all of our teethfollow up: How do you circumcise a west virginian
- Scott McClanahanTrueHow?
- Allison PuderbaughYou just aren't used to tharThatkick his sister in the back of the head!
- Scott McClanahanDon't knock having sex with your sister until you try itAre you folks like English majors?or other stuff?
- Allison Puderbaughmostly graduates and hangarounds, but about 70% were at one time
- Scott McClanahanCoolIsn't Bob Dole from thereI think he hung with Burroughs
- Allison Puderbaughalso representatives from Alabama and Arkansas present, who were keen on this book as a club pickwho didn't hang with Burroughs?
- Scott McClanahanPeople from Ark have ricketsI will only answer questions from them if you type. No direct questions.
- Allison Puderbaughyes our school and town claim both proudly
- Scott McClanahanIt's a cool ass stateAlabama has done a lot for us as well in terms of progress
- Allison Puderbaughhave you ever encountered a "horsefeather" in your drinking travels
- Scott McClanahanNope. Sounds like ARK talk
- Allison Puderbaugha simple cocktail- burroughs favorite, but hard to find outside of lawrence.So I want to know why the hell you ruined a perfectly good first half of a book with the second half & the appendix?
- Scott McClanahanI know. It's true. The second half is horribleThe appendix I like.
- Allison PuderbaughBullshit.Some liked the second half. We've got one or two keen on the appendix.Only the children's librarain liked the appendix
- Scott McClanahanHahI have another jokeabout librarians
- Allison Puderbaughk ...she is a sexy librarianBring it bitch
Rachel Smalter HallHere we go...- Scott McClanahanNo wait I'll save that one. It involved abortion and was way too meanLet's get back to the second half though.I just threw that shit in there
- Allison PuderbaughThat sounds like the librarians I know
- Scott McClanahanIt's like two books and doesn't fit together
- Allison PuderbaughDamn right
- Scott McClanahanOk here is the joke
- Allison PuderbaughThe first half is a beautiful story about the mountains
- Scott McClanahanYep, but then it turns into an episode of Porkys
- Allison PuderbaughThe second half is all I knew property and AI miss them because I forgot my roots
- Scott McClanahanBut maybe that's true about the mountains.There's nothing beautiful about themThey're actually ugly and menacing in Feb
- Allison PuderbaughIt turns into an episode of Porky 's?i like the plug for watching Walker non ironically. I was friends with a quadripleg that reminds me of Nathan in many ways
- Scott McClanahanNathan was a sweet sweet boy and I feel like crying I miss him so much even typing his name
- Allison Puderbaughbtw, this is a schitzophrenic deluge of different people posting here
- Scott McClanahanI wish I could see the roomand you folksMaybe you would kill my stereotype of Kansas being unattractive.From your fb pics this has not been proven false so far
- Scott McClanahanWowThe stereotype is officially dead.
- Allison Puderbaughhmm, wonder if we can send pic. We are in a tavern on the wrong side of the tracks, railroad and freight cars out the front window, grain elevator, too, river is behind us, tornado watch, hail storms on the way from the west, pool tables, bad 70's paintings and macarame art on the wall
- Scott McClanahanLook at those gamsThose are some good ass gamsIt was like a tornado when I pooped earlier
- Allison PuderbaughI knew this would devolve into the racks
- Scott McClanahanDo you folks really like PBR?And you can be honest
- Allison PuderbaughOk. Why did you put in a googled version of Ruby's recipe? Why not just say it was lost to the ages?Yes.Sort of. It's cheap. Most of us are underemployed.
- Scott McClanahanHah.Because Ruby would have goggled it.Life is nothing but a trickIt really is. The quicker we learn that the better
- Rachel Smalter HallI Ruby by the way
- Scott McClanahanI couldn't stand her. She was always on my ass about something
- Rachel Smalter Hallshe makes me think of my grandma in Idaho
- Allison PuderbaughIs the story about the cat and the pig real?
- Scott McClanahanWe're doing the whole fiction vs non fiction thing now?
- Rachel Smalter HallBut at the same time she's like no one
- Scott McClanahanI've always liked IdahoI mean that
- Allison PuderbaughWhat Ruby did to Nathan was like the hog biting the cat's head off ... in the narrative version anyway
- Scott McClanahanI know a dude named Ian who is from Idaho. He's a great ass dude. he lives in Oakland and loves Brueghal.Yep. She could be mean as shit. I saw her tell a ten year old boy he was fat one time.To the point he was cryingf
- Scott McClanahanShe never called him by his name just "fat old thing"
- Allison PuderbaughAre you putting double spaces after periods? Gross.
- Scott McClanahanI love double spaces.They're unnecessary like some other things I can think ofBut we're saved by what's unnecessary as well
- Allison Puderbaughsocial media author chats?
- Scott McClanahanAren't we?
- Allison Puderbaughhm, that's profound
- Scott McClanahanAllison speaks truth to the powerlessYepNo it's notNothing is profound except those gams I'm checking outYeah yeah
- Rachel Smalter Hallhey Scott, how do you feel about being compared to Woodrell and Faulkner?
- Scott McClanahanI pissed on Faulkners houseI'm seriousRowan Oak.I was a bit out of it. It was 2 in the morning. I was buying beerYou can only buy warm beer in MISSWeird
- Allison Puderbaughwe were a bit surprised you buried Oxford in your list of places dirt was planted
- Scott McClanahanIs it in there?All that shit's made up tooUsually if I do it, I just dig it up from wherever I'm atFor instance
- Allison Puderbaughthis book came on the tail of "Faulkner february" for us
- Scott McClanahanI did it in Soho once and dug it up outside the book storeNobody caught me
- Allison PuderbaughHey does your new book suck like this one? Only half awesome?was your time in MS shorter than googlesearch/wiki would lead one to believe?
- Scott McClanahanYep.And yep.Miss has some good ass people in it thoughThey don't have rickets like ARK AL folksYou kids need some Vitamin COh let me talk about the new book
- Allison PuderbaughDo they put it in PBR?
- Scott McClanahanIt sucks all the way through to be honest
- Allison PuderbaughTalk about the nrw bookIs it all here are the lies?
- Scott McClanahanIt's hard to make a truly bad book. But I want to admit I have suck seededsp?Lies are good thoughIt's what your Momma tells you all the timeMe included
- Allison PuderbaughTo write a shitty book?
- Scott McClanahanYep. Shitty books are harder than good books.\
- Allison PuderbaughI don't think so
- Scott McClanahanIt's what Richard Hugo always said when they asked him about writers block. he said if I get writers block I just lower my standards
- Allison PuderbaughSome more gams
- Scott McClanahanI'm not wearing pants btwSam Pink has big feet and I've slept in the same bed with the man.
- Allison PuderbaughAre you wearing a kilt/towel?
- Scott McClanahanNope
- Allison PuderbaughSam's got a pretty good beard, though.
- Scott McClanahanYep. He knows how to treat a lady with the initials SM.Are you folks writers too?
- Allison Puderbaughthe gal with the gams said she walked something today about Are Mermaids Real
- Scott McClanahanMy god. keep dirty talking like that.
- Allison Puderbaughwe're debating whether the appendix should have been included
- Scott McClanahanIt should have been the whole book. It would have saved people a shit ton of readingBut let me defend it for a secondTell me what you didn't like about it and then I'll defendbut sweetlyAlso I still need to do my abortion/librarian joke
- Allison Puderbaughhow would you describe the tone toward religion in the book? the benny hinn stuff seems a bit affectionate but there are some darker comments as well.
- Scott McClanahanI want to punch god in his face. If there is one thing I want to do it's thatAnd god is a mana woman wouldn't fuck up shit like thisBut, I love churchIt's a good place to get dates
- Allison PuderbaughYeah, but those girls won't put out.*says the campus ministry intern*re: the appendix...
- Scott McClanahanOh yes they will. Believe me. I've been baptized ten times over this. If you get baptized their legs become peanut butterEasy to spread
- Allison Puderbaugh"the people who read it as 'memoir' disliked it on principle... the ppl who read it as novel/creative non-fiction were more open to it"
- Scott McClanahanNothing like a church girlYeah I get thatI don't care about any of those things. People who read memoir as non fiction are pretty silly. Rousseau wrote one of the great memoirs. We used to call memoirs confessions. It's a great book of fictionLet me ask you thisDo you really believe the person who tells you they love you?They may notOne of the great tricks again.
- Allison PuderbaughI believe that they believe it at the time
- Scott McClanahanJust trying to turn your legs into peanut butter. Hee
- Allison PuderbaughPeople that near orgasm usually do
- Scott McClanahanBut that's where the world comes from. A lie we all agree on. Right?And god bless liars
- Allison PuderbaughEh..
- Scott McClanahanWhat's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?Be honest.
- Allison PuderbaughBesides reading the appendix?
- Scott McClanahanHahYou're proving my pointour cleverness won't save us in the end
- Allison PuderbaughWorst thing? Alcoholism
- Scott McClanahanSuch asMore specific
- Allison Puderbaughbut to extend the cleverness... and on the debate of memoir/"creative non-fic"I don't really want to get into thatA bit too dark
- Scott McClanahanNothing is too dark
- Allison Puderbaughwho would win in a cage match between yourself, dave eggers, james frey, and rousso
- Allison PuderbaughBecause of cheating?Wait no rules therefore no such thing
- Scott McClanahanYep. Your state was created over cheating. And mine too. Sometimes we have to do something horrible right?
- Allison PuderbaughSometimes you gotta stab slave owners in their sleep
- Scott McClanahanTha's what we did together. We fought those fuckers.I mean it.Take your John Brown broad sword and split open some skulls.
- Allison PuderbaughThey really are fuckers
- Scott McClanahanIt's called democracy
- Allison PuderbaughStill hate those Mizzoubags
- Scott McClanahanWanna know the worst thing that ever happened to me?
- Allison PuderbaughYes150th of Quantrill's Raid (Massacre)here
- Scott McClanahanMissouri is by nature a bad stateexcept they made Jesse James and Frank jamesAre you folks writers? I asked this before. I'm looking for a joke set up.And then I'll tell you my bad things...
- Allison PuderbaughThere is a writer here
- Scott McClanahanNevermind, not going to waste a good ass joke on one writer.I'll save it for NY
- Allison PuderbaughGood for youNot worth itMove onNothing to see hereWhat's he worse thing that happened to you? Besides talking to us
- Scott McClanahanYou know it takes as much energy to write a bad book as a good one. henry Miller said thatHow can I tell you that?
- Allison PuderbaughWhy wouldn't you?
- Scott McClanahanYou folks share and then I'll share...Pain is power though. No one gets thatIt's Genet. I am the weakest man--therefore I am the strongestIt's why I'd win the cage match against those fucks
- Allison PuderbaughThere is currently a discussion about how you are not the ssame kind of dirty as Sam Pink
- Scott McClanahanBark like a dog in front of a dude and I guarantee he won't punch you.Of courseDifferent dirtySam is actually a sweetheart but he will do bad things to your man parts
- Allison PuderbaughDid he do bad thing when you shared a bed?Do you feel dirty?
- Scott McClanahanI'm dirtier than toilet paper
- Allison PuderbaughDo you cry yourself to sleep now?But are you stronger than wet tp?
- Scott McClanahanI cried earlier today. I listened to a song and remembered long ago.
- Allison PuderbaughYou would.
- Scott McClanahanLong ago is sad--is it not?
- Allison PuderbaughNo. It's childhood
- Scott McClanahanI loved childhood.And loved long ago
- Allison PuderbaughDon Draper tells me that "nostalgia" means the pain from an old wound.Then why are you crying?
- Scott McClanahanHuh? Because it was fun--that's why.
- Allison PuderbaughYou are a strange duck
- Scott McClanahanSo I've been told.Could you imagine being married to me
- Allison PuderbaughThe writer wants to know what your favorite Faulkner novel is
- Scott McClanahanAbsalom because it came from West Virginia
- Allison PuderbaughI could...but I have a sick sad imagination
- Scott McClanahanNo wait, Light in August because it has sexand foreplayand no pants
- Allison PuderbaughJust like yoyYou
- Scott McClanahanNope. As I lay Dying because we all love our mothers--even if we hate her--we love her
- Allison PuderbaughNo pants
- Scott McClanahanNo wait. Sanctuary because of the corn cob pipe
- Allison PuderbaughAre you excited for Franco's new movie version?
- Scott McClanahanbut really because it's the firstor one of the firstsa young man.
- Allison PuderbaughSanctuary : rapes
- Scott McClanahanI remember when I was young. I'm not anymoreNo wait. His nobel prize speech. When will I be blown up.I'm blown up everyday.No wait. The Snopes trilogy
- Allison Puderbaughnice.
- Scott McClanahanBecause my father is Clem. He is in my heart but he's clem. A man who can talk
- Allison PuderbaughSo all of them
- Scott McClanahanBut wait.No, I hate him.I'd pick none of themThey mean nothing to meI don't hate him. I don't hate him
- Allison PuderbaughDiscussion has turned to our film club
- Scott McClanahanWhat movies?
- Allison PuderbaughYou don't love him
- Scott McClanahanI'm getting ready to watch The Tin Drum on criterion blu ray
- Allison PuderbaughWell Air Guitar documentariesTalk about the Before movies
- Scott McClanahanI love Linklater's Newton boysHis worst film bust his bestand it has Dwight Yoakum in itwhat more can you wantOk, I need to go poop again. See you later.
- Allison PuderbaughOr something with Harry dean StantonYou poop a lotthe alabamian keeps arguing for John Huston's Wise Blood
- Scott McClanahanYes. John Huston is the bestWatch The life and times of Judge Roy BeanFuck Wise Bloodit's good but it's no Roy Bean
- Allison PuderbaughJudge Roy Bean was the only bar in alabamian's small town growing up
- Scott McClanahanWatch it. It has a screenplay by John Millius one of the greatest writers of the 20th centuryThe coens based their walter character from the Big Lebowski on MilliusOk, may god bless the PBR book club and the children of Kansas. May god bless gamsand women who have great gams laughingand driving for hoursover land made flat by godand tornados and getting picked up and sent into the airand Judy garland. F uckIs there anything better
- Allison Puderbaughand peanut butter legs. Amen and hallelujah
- Scott McClanahan? Yes, and tin menand lionsand dancing
- Allison Puderbaughheartless.
- Scott McClanahanand kisseson the cheekand on sectret skin'secret skin ratherand life andbeerand chicken wingsand sleeping in until 2 in the afternoonand fucking the person you love at 205
- Allison PuderbaughChicken wings
- Scott McClanahanand reading Charles Olson's Maximus poems
- Allison PuderbaughSo good
- Scott McClanahanand saying to someone that chicken wings are goodbecause they arefuck yeah
- Allison PuderbaughFuck yeah
- Scott McClanahanand flying all the way across the countryto see someone you don't knowand falling in lovewith himand knowing nothing is okaybut it sort of isand GOD BLESS our Mommasand our Poppas and
- Allison PuderbaughRichard is spoken for
- Scott McClanahanthe sounds they made to make usAnd god bless Richard and his little Richardpoor boybut it will be okay
- Allison PuderbaughSure sure
- Scott McClanahanwomen only want you to hear them talkwhich is what men want toand so I bid you a good nightI bid you a farewellsleep tight
- Allison Puderbaughrest of the book club leaves off here, its just you and allisonGood night
Farewell - Scott McClanahanand don't let the bed bugs bitexoxox
- Allison Puderbaughwe're off to Horror Remix and families and hot dogs, and beer, and chicken wingsYes. Yes
- Scott McClanahanWe have fought against the day and lost. But that's what makes us wonderful. May god bless the losers
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